Reflection
Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder how you got to where you are today? Sometimes it can a joyous thought, thinking about the hard times you’ve gone through and being amazed at how much you’ve been blessed to be where you are now. Many times, there’s regret and shame about our pasts and what could have been. If only I had made a different decision here, or if only I hadn’t given up on that dream there.
Ten years time and a wiser mind
It's seems his world has changed
Knowing somehow what I didn't know then
Would I still have done it the same
If you could go back in time, would you still make the same decisions? Would you approach difficulties in the same manner? If we had the experience, knowledge, and wisdom we’ve gained through life in our younger days, different decisions would definitely have been made. As it is, we are left to carry around the wounds of our past. As a good Dutchman, I learned to push most of my emotions, guilt, shame, and hurt under the rug and tried to forget about them. Surprisingly, that doesn’t work very well. Our past mistakes and hurts still impact us and our thinking years later. It would be easy to say just put on your rose-colored glasses and forget the bad because it has made you who you are today, but it’s not that simple. It can take time and work to process those experiences and to take away the power they can still hold on you. A licensed mental health professional can be a huge benefit in this work for everyone and I know I have benefited greatly from a therapist.
I made decisions some right and some wrong
And I let some love go I wish wasn't gone
These things and more I wish I had not doneBut I can't go back
And I don't want to
'Cause all my mistakes
They brought me to you“All My Mistakes” by The Avett Brothers
As Good Friday fast approaches, I can’t help but draw parallels to Jesus and his suffering. He didn’t want to go through the pain, suffering, and humiliation of the cross. He prayed for the burden to be removed from him. But it was only through that suffering and his death on the cross that we can celebrate Easter. We can’t have one without the other. That’s an important reminder for our lives. We don’t have to look at our past and mourn our mistakes and what could have been. We can see them as a necessary step along the way to bring about the growth and blessings we have now. As I mentioned above, this isn’t always an easy task. But with the help of God, and perhaps a therapist, even the worst times can be put in the proper perspective so we can focus instead on the Easter that follows.
For some, that message will be very hollow as they are still in the midst of their own Good Friday. For that, my heart breaks. Platitudes about the good that will come from suffering ring empty when you are caught up in the middle of it. All I can say is to hold on. God will never leave you and the church family is here to support you. Don’t bear your cross by alone. And when your time of darkness ends, let’s celebrate. Not the path you had to travel, just as we don’t celebrate Good Friday, but celebrate the rebirth and renewal that will come.
Links
Lyrics
I walked back down
The river bend road
Gathered up a couple good stones
Down to the water
Went looking for a load
Wasn't very far from home
I saw my face at the water's edge
The man with the heavy heart
Every now and then he feels so close
And every now and then so far
Tell me
Where did the young man go
The one in the water that I used to know?
When did he lose that fight?
Did he just grow old,
Did he just grow tired?
The face I saw was a younger man
A little more sure of his ways
Blissful fool didn't understand
Hadn't seen enough in his day
Ten years time and a wiser mind
It's seems his world has changed
Knowing somehow what I didn't know then
Would I still have done it the same
Tell me
Where did the young man go
The one in the water that I used to know?
When did he lose that fight?
Did he just grow old,
Did he just grow tired?
There was a time that it came easy for a while
I know it couldn't have been that long ago
Where did the young man go
The one in the water that I used to know?
When did he lose that fight?
Did he just grow old,
Did he just grow tired?
Where did the young man go
The one in the water that I used to know?
When did he lose that fight?
Did he just grow old,
Did he just grow tired?
I walked back down
The river bend road
Gathered up a couple good stones
Down to the water
Went looking a load
I wasn't very far from home
I love this.