Sailboat by Ben Rector
Reflection
I feel just like a sailboat
Don't know where I'm headed
But you can't make the wind blow
From a sailboat
I’ve seen the sun
Felt the rain on my skin
I've been lost and found
But mostly I've been waiting
Every time I hear this song I don’t imagine the type of sailboats I saw out on Lake Michigan as a college student. I imagine a tiny little boat with one little sail, just like a kid’s drawing (or honestly my own). Not much there to steer in any sort of direction, just one tiny sail to move the boat in whatever direction the wind is going. I wonder if this is the type of boat Ben Rector was imagining when writing this song, because I’ve definitely felt like the sailboat he sings about - knowing where I’ve come from but no clear idea of where I’m going, just waiting for wind to push me in some sort of direction. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
And I'm pretty sure I'm heard
At least I know I'm speaking
But I feel like a fool
Cause I can't hear you listening
But I'm not giving up,
Oh, I'm gonna move on forward
I'm gonna raise my sail
God knows what I'm headed towards
While Ben Rector isn’t a Christian artist, I resonate so much with his words. I’ve prayed about my path so many times and have been told that God hears, and yet I get no clear answer. No sudden flashing lights or signs that say “I heard you! Do this thing!” or “I know you asked so go over here!” I just have to move forward in the best way I know how and that can be difficult, scary, and at times feel so isolating. I have to trust that God’s wind will blow me toward the right path.
Oh, I'm out in the waves
And I'm hoping and praying
Please let this wind blow me home
Night after night
There’s an empty horizon
My God, do I feel so alone
But sometimes life
And most times
I feel just like a sailboat
Maybe it’s just me, but every time I stand on the shore of Lake Michigan, or any large body of water, I’m reminded of the vastness of God. It overwhelms me as I stare out into the waves and look out at the horizon miles away. And with a song like this there’s definitely some metaphor out there that describes us as the sailboat and God as this vast, awesome ocean, and we’re just waiting for Him to use the waves and the wind to push us where we need to go. But I don’t need us to go super deep with a metaphor this time, even though I love a good metaphor. I just want you to know you’re not the only one who has ever felt like a sailboat. Know that you’re not alone in your feelings and in your wanderings. If that’s where you find yourself in this season, there are plenty of other sailboats sailing along with you. Good luck and prayers to you on your journey. You are not alone.
Links
Lyrics
I feel just like a sailboat
Don't know where I'm headed
But you can't make the wind blow
From a sailboat
I’ve seen the sun
Felt the rain on my skin
I've been lost and found
But mostly I've been waiting
Oh, I'm out in the waves
And I'm hoping and praying
Please let this wind blow me home
Night after night
There’s an empty horizon
My God, do I feel so alone
But sometimes life
And most times
I feel just like a sailboat
And I'm pretty sure I'm heard
At least I know I'm speaking
But I feel like a fool
Cause I can't hear you listening
But I'm not giving up,
Oh, I'm gonna move on forward
I'm gonna raise my sail
God knows what I'm headed towards
Oh I'm out in the waves
And I'm hoping and praying
Please let this wind blow me home
And night after night
There’s an empty horizon
My god do I feel so alone
Sometimes life
And most times
I feel just like a sailboat
Only change I see
Lost or found at sea
The only difference
Is believing I'll make it in
Oh I'm out in the waves
And I'm hoping and praying
Please let this wind blow me home
And night after night
There’s an empty horizon
My god do I feel so alone
Sometimes life
And most times
I feel just like a sailboat