"Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan
Reflection
Sarah McLachlan has a way of writing her music so that you’re immediately pulled into the deep depth of emotions she’s singing about. We see her music attached to ASPCA commercials and are immediately longing to adopt all of the pets in the local shelter and give the rest of our money to animal rescue. The musician in me has always wanted to dive into a full analysis of her music to answer the question, “why does her music tug so strongly at our hearts?” But without doing hours of chordal, structural, and musical theory analysis, I’d venture to say the reason is in the lyrics. McLachlan has a way of singing words we’ve all felt and wraps it up perfectly with melancholy chords beneath it. “Fallen” is certainly no exception to this.
“Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so.”
How many times have you felt this way? For me, easily hundreds of times. We try to do what we think is best and create our pathway in life, knowing there will be ups and downs along the way. However, at some point we realize that we made a wrong turn and that one wrong turn turned into ten. The weight of our regrets can feel like too much to bear and we feel ashamed or embarrassed for the things we’ve done. It can feel like all eyes are on our mistakes, judging every wrong turn we made. No matter who you turn to - family member, friend, mentor - someone is going to point it out and think of us as “less than,” “messed up,” or even a “sinner.” The words “I told you so” can slap us across the face so hard that we either want to fight back or go hide from everyone who might hold any kind of judgement against us. Of course we know we’ve done wrong and were told this could happen. Regardless of all that has happened, we just desperately want to be forgiven for our actions and move on.
While McLachlan’s music is clearly full of hard, relatable emotions, I’ve also heard it said that her music feels safe, like a warm hug. I think the duality of this, both the feelings of regret and comfort, is essentially what the Lenten season is about. We regret our actions and mistakes we’ve made, and yet we feel comfort in the longing for Easter and the coming of Christ. It reminds me of the story of the prodigal son in Luke. We can all relate to being the younger son, going out into the world and trying our best but then losing our path along the way. I’m sure the younger son had fully expected his father to rebuke him and give him many “I told you so” remarks until the son begged for a spot as a servant in his household. He had tried, he had fallen, he had messed up, he should have known better. In the same way, we can find comfort in the father’s response and feel that same comfort during this Lenten season. As we reflect and feel the guilt and regret for our actions, know that God gives us that same response as the father did to his prodigal son.
Links
Lyrics
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear
I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so
I messed up
Better I should know
Don't come round here
And tell me I told you so
For Further Reflection
Do you believe you should live life with regrets? Why or why not? Is this truly possible?
Who in your life do you feel you can go to with mistakes you’ve made and feel no judgement?
Consider watching this TED Talk by Kathryn Schulz about regret.